


Iguana Love

by bratfarrar



Series: Canon (more or less) [5]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-05-15
Packaged: 2017-12-11 23:26:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/804459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bratfarrar/pseuds/bratfarrar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like puppy love, only spikier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Iguana Love

**Author's Note:**

> For [Kensieg](http://kensieg.livejournal.com/); inspired by the genius that is [this](http://pentapus.livejournal.com/125626.html).

Later, Rodney tried to claim that the iguana attempted to eat him, but really, all it did was flick out its tongue. Granted, the tongue was about as long as John was tall, but still. No teeth were involved or even implied, and Ford filmed the whole thing, so Rodney didn’t have a leg to stand on. 

Rodney also tried to claim that John went all gooey-eyed at first sight of the thing—clearly delusional, although Teyla and Ford seemed inclined to humor him. John just laughed, because, well, _clearly delusional_ , and also he wasn’t about to admit that he’d wanted an iguana all the way through middle school and well into high school. Although at the time he’d been thinking of one that was a little smaller—say, about two feet long instead of twenty-seven.

Of course, while John was admiring George (yes, okay, he’d privately given it a name, but something that size deserved one, and it was either that or Godzilla, and the latter seemed kind of rude)—and that was all it was: _admiration_ —Rodney went through a complete and utter meltdown, the likes of which had never been seen before, and likely never would again. He flailed, he gibbered, he foamed at the mouth, and it was unclear what disturbed him the most: the likelihood of John getting chomped on, the likelihood of _himself_ getting chomped on, the _un_ likeliness of the iguana’s size, John’s supposed infatuation with the iguana, or the fact that the source of the energy reading they’d been chasing for two hours appeared to be ‘an escapee from a bad Japanese movie’.

Eventually he calmed down enough to realize that the energy reading was coming from underneath George, and Teyla somehow produced a near-deer to entice George out of the way, and it turned out that they’d spent the afternoon chasing after a desalinizer (in the middle of a desert—either things had _really_ changed in the interim, or the Ancients had been as crazy as John suspected)—at which point Rodney had another, much smaller meltdown and John decided it was time for them to go home.

He spent the entire trip back trying and failing to come up with an argument that might convince Elizabeth that they needed to bring George to Atlantis. Unfortunately, _it followed me home, can I keep it?_ didn’t seem any more likely to work than it had when he was eleven. And anyway, he wasn't sure George would fit through the stargate.


End file.
